Monthly Archives: August 2011

OMG WTF EARTHQUAKE!!!


A great, big W.T.F. shook the ground here in the imperial city earlier this afternoon… and if you’re wondering, no it wasn’t our economy crashing to the ground (that’s still on the way!), it was an earthquake! Obama remains in the comfort of Martha’s Vineyard, but he’s quickly working on devising a way to blame the quake on the TEA Party. The U.S. Geological survey reports that the quake was more than 3 miles deep underground, and struck in central Virginia, near Mineral City. The quake rumbled up and down the east coast, reportedly felt as far as New York City northward, and North Carolina to the south.

While the area where the quake originated has been known for seismic activity in the past, this is considered unusually strong. So here’s what happened… Obama and the jackasses were pushing for a 3.4 on the Richter scale and the RINOs were pushing for a 3.6… so they compromised and gave us the 5.8. But this just highlights Washington’s inability to do anything right. If we had Ron Paul in office since ‘08, none of this would have ever even happened. A few dirty glances from his VP Chuck Norris, and those cowardly tectonic plates wouldn’t even THINK about budging.

Not to worry though, there’s already speculation that congress is going to act as soon as possible to declare Earthquakes an act of terror, and outlaw them entirely. Good to know they can put a stop to that menace with their magic powers of arbitrary legislation! If THAT doesn’t work, GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry is vowing to pray the quakes away if elected president. Perhaps Perry is right, there’s a good chance this was a warning from God to quit being such socialists.

Either way, Washington was in straight-up panic mode afterward. Images of 911 poured into the minds of overpaid government-workers the district over, as they scurried about the tax-payer-bought marble floors. Quickly and like cock-roaches, they scattered to their cars, and immediately began to create traffic jams (something they’re good at since it involves creating an inconvenience).

All-in-all the events of today serve as a good preview to what things are going to look like during the zombie apocalypse, though one could argue D.C. looks like the zombie apocalypse on any normal day… so this is what it would look like with velociraptor zombies.

Now I can tell you, living in DC, that an earthquake isn’t the first thought on your mind when your house starts shaking. You either assume it’s an armored Police tank rolling-up to shutdown a lemonade stand, or someone has finally had it and pushed all the red buttons. You don’t think ‘Oh, it’s an earthquake’ you think ‘OH CRAP BIG ASS BOMB’… Luckily though, we’re all still here sans radiation and mushroom clouds… for now. But, give the neocons more time to create the appropriate amount of aftershock…I mean blowback from our interventions overseas.

Okay… look, I’m sorry about all these bad earthquake jokes, I really am. It’s just that I’m a bit shaken up. It gives me tremors just thinking about it.


Libya on the Brink: What about blowback?


Obama continues to play golf at Martha’s Vineyard even as Libya’s current regime supposedly collapses. Meanwhile, NATO continues a wishy-washy policy of not-quite-knowing just what it wants with Libya or how extensively it wants to intervene, but it seems the chips are finally falling into place for the embattled nation… though the chaos isn’t over just yet. Col. Moammer Ghadhafi’s government, after four decades, is reportedly collapsing. U.S. officials have expressed fear of last minute reprisals from Gadhafi on civilians in the capitol of Tripoli, though it is unknown whether or not his government forces are still capable of such action. On Sunday rebels reportedly captured Col. Moammar Gadhafi’s son and heir apparent, Seif al-Islam, at the rebel-held town of Benghazi (update: there are conflicting reports that he is still free). Rebel forces are advancing into the capitol city of Tripoli and are now closing in on Gadhafi. He has not surrendered and is not expected to.

So one tyrant will lose power but we do not yet know who or what will fill that power vacuum, rest assured though, that something will… one could hope that Libya as a people move closer toward the concept of liberty (much more so than the constant media praise for ‘democracy’), but to assume that this will be the case puts a glossy ignorance over the situation at best. Afterall, there were many reports that a great number of the soldiers in the Libyan rebellion had previous ties to supposed Al-Qaeda operations in Iraq. The Libyan rebels now closing in on the throne are just one faction on the chess board, there were others… and there have already been clashes between them. The problem is that it’s hard to discern just how many factions of people are already vying for power in the wake of the Libyan rebelion. Some rebels have been reported to have links to Al-Qaeda, said to overlap with rebels who do not desire a Western-styel democracy, but instead seek to return Libya to a Monarchy or an Islamic Republic, as it was before Gadhafi deposed the King Idris.

In the midst of the chaos, is NATO willing to pull another ‘Operation AJAX’? Well, for a quick history lesson, Operation AJAX is the CIA name for the1953 Iranian coup d’état, a coup that U.S. tax dollars had a direct hand in with the assistance of Kermit Roosevelt… yeah, I know, his name is Kermit… the name’s bad enough but what he did was worse. With a heavy amount of U.S.-fueled subterfuge, the democratically elected leader Prime Minister Mohammad Mosaddegh was overthrown, along with his secular government. And now, enter the ‘blowback’. Our foreign policy saw clandestine U.S. forces deposing Iran’s budding-democracy, then installing an unpopular authoritarian monarch, Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. Well, as you can imagine, they didn’t much like the C.I.A. re-installing the dictator they’d just outed prior to having a democratic government… as a result? Serious damage was done to our reputation amongst the Iranian people and we’d effectively provided a contemporary political reason for Islamic radicals to vilify the West. When the anti-western Iranian Revolution came to pass in 1979, memories of American intervention were seared into the minds of the Persian people. And, here we are today… your average Ford-F150-driving neocon cheerleading for a Rick Santorum nuclear holocaust over Tehran, without having the slightest clue how the US-Iranian hostilities actually came to be.

I’m going to use that annoyingly over-used Einstein quote here… ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over… and expecting different results’. Unfortunately, time and again the mad captains of government here in D.C. have shown to be rather insane in this regard… let us hope that in this instance, they’re smart enough to avoid setting the stage for the kind of “revolution” Iran saw in 1979.


Er…marijuana…that’s…um..well…

Our President is such an eloquent speaker. He’s so articulate and knowledgeable on the issues that truly matter (when he has a teleprompter)… but when he’s hit with a real question, when you take him off the pulpit and confront him with something out of his comfort zone?Suddenly his sophistries stop shimmering… and the words he’s stuttering over start to fall flat.

During a Presidential Town-Hall in Cannon Falls, Minnesota the politically uncomfortable question of medical marijuana was raised to the debtor-in-chief who seemed at a loss for anything intelligible.

He’ll… he’ll just… wait what? Did he even actually say anything? er… well. For all the nasty things I could say about Obama, it almost hurts to watch him flail like this. He at least STARTED to make some allusion to state’s rights, but he has to be pretty careful there too. He wouldn’t want to appear to be endorsing the constitutional right of nullification now would he? Not with his precious corporatist healthcare plan on the line. Perhaps he wanted to avoid having to explain why his attorney general, Eric Holder, continues to treat medicinal marijuana operations as criminal enterprise.Obama wouldn’t have to do much. An executive order is treated as-good-as-law (especially these days, in the era of czars), a few simple strokes of the pen could put a leash on the DEA and order them to quit harassing medical dispenseries. But don’t count on it. That would take the kind of integrity, guts, and principles, that President Obama consistently fails to display.

So, it looks like there’s no change for those needing Marijuana for pain management… one can only hope then, that the states are able to decriminalize it without anymore… imperial entanglements.


Al Qaeda is so last season: YOU are the new villain

The 10th Anniversary of the September 11th attacks is just around the corner. There has been much speculation as to what significance that day will have…  if any. Is there possibility of another attack from Muslim radicals come 9/11/11? President Obama told CNN that the government is more concerned with the threat of ‘lone wolf’ attacks, than high-impact incidents from Al-Qaeda:

“The risk that we’re especially concerned over right now is the lone wolf terrorist, somebody with a single weapon being able to carry out wide-scale massacres of the sort we saw in Norway recently… when you’ve got one person who is deranged or driven by a hateful ideology they can do a lot of damage and it’s a lot harder to trace those lone wolf operators” -President Barack Obama 

But wait… wasn’t the Al-Qaeda  menace the greatest existential threat to mankind? What about all the talk of dirty bombs and middle-america massacres? Here’s the thing, the narrative was getting stale after 10 years of syndication. Now, I’m not being conspiratorial here, but let’s make one thing perfectly clear: Government wants to grow whenever and however it can, and it used the excuse of Islamic terrorism whenever possible to allow itself to do that.

People weren’t buying the Al-Qaeda scare anymore.  It’s kinda like how the Department of Homeland security was never really successful in using a baby xylophone to trump up fear …

Hide you kids, hide you wife, hide yo husbands too... they taxin' errbody out here

Hide you kids, hide you wife, hide yo husbands too... they taxin' errbody out here

It began to appear that the Boogie-man himself was more likely to emerge from his closet, than Osama Bin Laden was from his hypothetical cave-fortress in Afghanistan. But then, in 2011, we got him. Problem: If you’re government, and you want to keep growing, you must keep manufacturing a justification to supply your tax-payers.

So, the need for new super villains arises.  New excuses are needed for justifying the perpetual violations of civil liberties. After all, you can’t keep a series going if you don’t change up the bad guy every once in a while, so it’s out with the old and in with the new. The new threats aren’t KSM or Bin-Laden, but they COULD be your  blond, blue-eyed next door neighbor..  the Anders Behring Breiviks (The Norway Shooter)  or the Jared Lee Loughners…

All the while you have a Vice President  reportedly calling Tea Party activists terrorists for opposing the administration’s hell-bent determination to destroy the dollar (which is ironic coming from a man who looks like a Dick Tracy comic book villain).

Re-framing the terror threat narrative as something more likely to come from a loner than Al-Qaeda brings the police state to our front doors (and back doors [TSA-anal-probe pun not intended]) in a way we’ve not before seen. This will pave the way for a lot more scrutiny of the individual… making violations in individual liberty all the more frequent. We’ve started to see the vilification of certain political ideologies or forms of communication in the media now.

The media has already begun re-framing the meaning of the term ‘flash-mob’ into something with violent connotations. Our vice president equates fiscal sanity to terrorism. You have instances of governments obstructing communication, as happened in San Fransisco in the Bay Area Rapid Transit stations, where phone service was blocked to prevent a citizen protest. Anonymous reported that the Federal Government had been in negotiations with Booz Allen Hamilton to develop certain web technologies that would subvert and distort the free flow of information and ideas in social media… (again we see government seeking to strike at the very heart of a free society: open information. And, as is always the case with tyranny, it will be done in the name of security.)

A lone wolf doesn’t need a secret underground lair, or a global network. They simply need a deranged mind. Suddenly, America’s fear-mongers can instill the notion that the next madman might very-well be your next-door neighbor. Suddenly, there are calls to ‘tone down’ the ‘firey political rhetoric’ (which ends up being anything the establishment finds uncomfortable, like say politically criticizing the Fed) and you see sales spikes in the government purchase of back-scatter machines and invasive survellience equipment. DHS is releasing ‘informational’ videos depicting anglo-saxon terrorists and local governments are arming themselves to the teeth with with crowd control weapons. All of the sudden, it becomes the norm to see militarized riot cops in black-armor, and the revolver-carrying sheriff a mythical image of the past.

The new bad guys aren’t Muslim extremists. It was simply too difficult to justify the control of ideas or movement in the West by parading an external threat… no the new threat has to be more malignant, and more ambiguous. Something not foreign to the collective of Western society. For governments to get what they want… the new bad guy has to be you.



Matt Damon fails at Human Nature 101

Ya know, Matt Damon is no genius, but sometimes he pretends to be in his movies…and apparently, at political rallies. A video is making the rounds of Reason reporter Michelle Fields allegedly being “schooled” (according to media shills) by Damon on the oh-so-hard life of the average public school teacher and their horrible salaries.Fields asks Damon whether or not he thinks the tenure system is beneficial for students, or if it reduces the incentive for some teachers to work hard.
                                                                                                                                                       Damon makes the following statement during the encounter:

“I want to be an actor. That’s not an incentive. That’s the thing. See, you take this MBA-style thinking, right? It’s the problem with ed policy right now, this intrinsically paternalistic view of problems that are much more complex than that. It’s like saying a teacher is going to get lazy when they have tenure. A teacher wants to teach. I mean, why else would you take a {expletive} salary and really long hours and do that job unless you really love to do it?”

 

MATT DAMON (MATT DAMON)

Intrinsically paternalistic thinking. Oh, that’s good. Notice Captain Harvard’s attempt at showcasing his Brobdingnagian vocabulary? Although, if we’re going to talk about the dangers of paternalistic thinking in the public realm, maybe he should have reconsidered stumping for Obama. But I digress… onto the issue of public teachers and their ‘poor’ salaries… Reason decided to do a little research after the scuffle, and here’s what they found:

“According to Department of Education statistics for 2007-2008 (the most recent year listed), the average public school teacher brought in a bit over $53,000 in “total school-year and summer earned income.” That figure, which is about $13,000 more than what the average private-school teacher gets in straight salary, does not include health and retirement benefits, places where teachers almost always get better deals and bigger employer contributions than the typical private-sector worker.” (Reason.com)

So the corporate media has been parading this as a victory for public school teachers and MATT DAMON, but besides groundless assertions… he didn’t really say much. I agree with his opposition to standardized, state-run testing, but let’s get serious about incentives and teacher compensation. While teaching itself is an admirable profession, to make the assertion that all teachers are heroic beings that do it for the love of the job is a blanket statement ignorant of human nature.
                                                                                                                                                          True, the joy of teaching itself can be an incentive for those truly faithful to the craft, but that’s simplifying things. Not everyone commits the same action for the same motivation as someone else. So no matter how much one loves a profession, a craft, or a trade… we are ALL incentive based creatures; movie stars, writers, and teachers alike, and we don’t all have the same motivations.
                                                                                                                                                                    Here’s the point, while tenure, health insurance, summer vacation, and a “crappy” middle-america salary may not sound phenomenal to a millionaire movie star or his mom, it probably sounds pretty good to the 85% of under-employed college grads living in mom and dad’s basement who bankroll the public education system with the tax dollars coming out of their McPaychecks. Even the ones not qualified to teach.

“Conservative Civil War” or The War of Neoconservative Aggression

As Obama tramples on the constitution, many are wondering… just who will stand against him and the policies he’s implementing?

Burning founding documents emits a significant amount of carbon you know...

President Obama at the State of the Union address

Many conservatives, libertarians, and independents turn to the Republican party, some with enthused optimism, others with hesitant cynicism… the coalition often formed under the GOP banner is one of loose affiliations and uneasy alliances, but more and more those alliances seem all-too-tense to remain alliances at all.

CPAC 2012... will there be blood on the escalators?

The conservative political action conference is considered one of the landmark meetings of right-wing activists each year, here in Washington, DC. Arranged by the non-partisan American Conservative Union, it’s straw poll is considered by many to be a strong finger to the pulse of conservative politics… and potential GOP nominees. Lately, the winds have been blowing in favor of Ron Paul, who has now twice won the poll, in 2010, and again this year.

But we still have to deal with the likes of this guy

Big Government; it's only liberal if the democrats do it!

Chris Malagisi, the newly-appointed director of CPAC 2012, a self-proclaimed conservative, despite this chummy picture with Mr. Big Government. Shortly after the first Republican presidential debate of 2011, Malagisi released a commentary in the Washington Examiner (now removed apparently), blasting Congressman Paul and his supporters, asserting that our policy positions make us unfit to claim membership to the GOP, or any conservative legacy at all…. despite the fact that Paul’s positions are so strikingly close to Mr. Conservative himself, Barry Goldwater.

Well it seems, Malagisi will fit right in at the ACU, who continue to display any lack of common sense when it comes to building an effective conservative coalition. Not only does Malagisi, as a representative of the ACU, slap a significant portion of the so-called conservative coalition in the face by attacking libertarians— but his employer has now barred gay conservative group GoProud from CPAC 2012. Even more surprising, the rabidly anti-communist John Birch Society has also been barred from appearing at the conference in any official capacity.

Of course GoProud’s presence at previous CPAC conferences also raised concerns with large right-wing organizations such as the Heritage foundation, Media Research Center, and the Family research council, but this doesn’t bode well for avoiding a movement rift. Perhaps, pushing out GoProud is done with the intention of bringing old blood back into the CPAC tent… the religious right, and the policy wonks over at Heritage… but consider this: as CPAC representatives alienate more and more self-proclaimed conservatives; are they exacerbating a growing rift among the right? The winds are blowing toward the TEA Party, toward libertarianism, toward Hayekian thought, and toward tolerance for homosexuals… and yet the ACU, and it’s new CPAC director are moving away from these things. The GOP establishment has infuriated the TEA Party with their recent debt compromise, and even more so with the formation of the so-called Super-Congress… even in the midst of political chaos, established conservative organizations are failing to unite coalitions under banners of pragmatism. One has to wonder, what the future holds for the conservative movement as a whole, and for the GOP, if these rifts continue to grow…

We get bailout! Someone set us up the hyperinflation!

If Obama remains unchallenged by a principled leader, someone capable not just of smooth rhetoric, but execution of consistent principle… conservatives, independents, and libertarians all lose. One thing is obvious as libertarians have a louder voice in the fight against Obama… a banner of intolerance, religious fanaticism, or imperialism will never again be capable of defeating the progressive machine.  It’s time for the rest of the conservative movement to graduate and leave the culture war to cultural battles, rather than legislative ones. If the rest of the conservative movement isn’t ready to pull its pants up, act like big boys, and move into the 21st century… we will all lose to the leviathan government (…and then none of us will get to have lemonade stands.)

He's crazy. Vote Mitt.

Oh this was that guy with the blimp.


Super Congress: Politburo for a Brave New America

No debates. No amendments. No filibustering. Checks and balances? Gone. Constituent input? Not happening. That’s what the law-making process may soon look like, as we usher in the era of The “Super Congress.”

We'll take it from here pleabs, you just stay out of the way

While swallowing the first bites of that “satan sandwich” that is the bi-partisan “debt ceiling deal,” Americans will come to find the compromise bill contains more than just an additional 7-to-10-trillion-something in debt shackles. By now, you’ve probably heard about the alarming proposal of a legislative body that would supercede both houses of congress … “The Super congress,” as originally labeled by the Huffington Post. Like a bad Freddy Krueger movie, or watching Tom Delay try to dance on reality TV, it’s a nightmare now manifesting itself into reality, (thanks to a provision jammed into the bill that allowed for the committee’s creation).

WE TOLD YOU NO LEMONADE STANDS!

The committee will consist of only six Democrats and six Republicans who, behind closed doors, will be able to craft pieces of legislation that the rest of congress have absolutely no control over beyond a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ vote. By official excuse, the committee has been created to ensure that government spending is slashed by 1.5 trillion over the next 10 years (in actuality we’re not slashing anything) as a part of the debt limit “deal”… in execution, this committee has unconstitutionally been handed the law-making powers of our actual congress. What this means is that incredibly controversial bills can’t be tabled, or kept from the house floor, if super-congress so chooses to force them onto the floor.

Don't worry about it, we got this. You just go back and watch NFL now.

As Larry Pratt of Gun Owners of America has noted; the precedent this development sets could see all kinds of insane legislation come to the floor in such a manner; here are a few he fielded as a possibility: a new “Assault Weapons” ban, or a ban on semi-automatics all-together, or even a national hand gun registration. Of course it doesn’t just stop at guns, this committee can introduce any number of outrageous encroachments on constitutional liberties without fear of reprisal from other house members.

Again, this new tier in the federal power structure further distances the lawmakers from the people, effectively creating an American counterpart to the soviet-era Politburo. If I’m making this out to sound like a shadowy organization with no oversight, that’s because it essentially will be. There is very little written into the debt bill that alludes to transparency for the proposed Super Committee, just that the language of their own proposals be made public after the fact.

Party in the USSA

Assume for a minute, that Al Gore’s green acolytes don’t successfully extinguish your chances to have children someday. What will the state-funded teachers of tomorrow call our system of government in their classrooms? Let’s look over two definitions shall we?

republic/rɪˈpʌblɪk/
noun
a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch.
[Oxford English Dictionary]

oligarchy/ˈɒlɪɡɑːki/
noun
a small group of people having control of a country or organization.
[Oxford English Dictionary]

So with a brand, new shiny Super Congress, which do we sound more like to you? Essentially, congress has bi-partisanly paved the way for a super highway to statism. The road to serfdom just got 12 lanes wider, with cars of both red and blue driving us toward a tyrannical cliff of absolute state-control.


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