Monthly Archives: June 2011

D.C. Metro: redefining crappy service

Most people are speaking figuratively when they talk about crappy government service. They’re probably referring to entities other than the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority; a government-run monopoly that ACTUALLY is covered in fecal matter.

Most days, the commute via train is actually a slower option than sitting in a DC traffic jam. Most days, using a gallon of gas in said traffic jam is cheaper than the train fare too. Most days, you’ll be crammed into a cattle car with someone’s arm pit crust just inches from your nostrils. At some point during most Metro train adventures, a morbidly obese woman will ever-so-gently press her soft, gelatin body into yours. I can’t forget to mention the ‘out of order’ escalators, and their half-year repair times.

Yes, all those things are crappy. But I’m speaking in literal terms. The DC Metro is covered in crap. At least, it was for 48 hours at the Franconia-Springfield station on the Blue Line.

On Monday, a commuter coming from the Franconia-Springfield Metro-station found just that, shit smeared across the walls of the pedestrian bridge leading into the station. Two days later? Still on display for all to admire.

Austin Lasseter, told the Washington Examiner that he spoke to the Metro station’s manager on Monday after encountering the wall-of-horror. The response from Metro management? ‘it’s not Metro’s problem’.

Maybe the government employees wanted to add some Aroma to the air, you know, for atmosphere. Or perhaps they truly are embracing their reputation for crap-quality service, going with a fecal wallpaper theme.

Toot! Toot! All aboard! Free smells!

Eventually, they did clean it up though. Government employees rapidly sprung into action at a snail’s pace of 2-days after first hearing about the crap on the walls. It only took the pressure of being confronted by the Washington Examiner about their inability to show the slightest bit of competence.

Turns out that because the the VRE (Virginia Railway Express) owned the stairs connecting the walkway, Metro felt it best to just ignore the problem.

Lasseter questioned why, if it was not Metro’s duty, they couldn’t contact the staff of the VRE about the problem. Both organizations said that “generally,” Metro station managers don’t reach out to VRE Janitoral teams, and both sides must go through a “chain of command.” I guess picking up a phone when there’s HUMAN SHIT on the wall is too arduous a task to be tackled so easily by Metro employees.

It’s good to know Washington D.C. is home to the same government agencies that oversee food cleanliness and sanitation.

Citrus-Based Terrorism

Their base of operations was inconspicuous enough; cardboard signs and a flimsy canopy to provide shade from the blistering summer sun. To the untrained eye, they could have merely been innocent children trying to raise money for cancer patients… but something far more sinister was at play here. Citrus-based terrorism…

This is what criminal activity looks like

Luckily bravery and quick-thinking on the part of a Montgomery County Inspector put a stop to the pint-sized terrorists’ nefarious commerce . The plot was simple, occupy space in close-vicinity to the US Open in Bethesda, Maryland. Once the golf tournament kicked off, heavy foot-traffic was guaranteed. Next step? Erect a lemonade stand, thereby terrorizing pedestrians with refreshing cold beverages.

The plot was foiled after the heroic government busy-body used his powers of inconvenience and economic hindrance to issue a hefty fine of $500. The violation? Operating a lemonade stand without a permit. Mandate was issued for the children to immediately cease their capitalistic pursuits. Perhaps next time, these micro-terrorists will think twice about setting up shop on Persimmon Tree Road.

See normally the state isn’t going to charge a bunch of kids two years-worth of allowance for a Lemonade stand, but normally, kids aren’t actually successful with their business ventures either… you know how it goes. Success must be punished, and the wealth must be shared.

Let’s get down to it, this is the US Open, and that Lemonade is the talk-of-the-town…. and Uncle Sam didn’t get a cut. Unacceptable. The government-salaried busy body had a brief verbal exchange with a terrorist sympathizer, one Carrie Marriott, believed to be a mother of at-least one of the wicked children.

The inspector reminded Mama Marriott that Justice didn’t make exceptions, “Kids selling lemonade making five to ten dollars is a little bit different than making hundreds”


So this is what a government FOR and BY ‘the people’ looks like. ‘We the people’ fine children FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for experimenting with entrepreneurship. Oh and they were raising money for what? Cancer research? Bah, that’s okay. The fine will go to a good cause, the police force needs new radar detectors. It would be tragic if a cancer patient got into an auto-accident while speeding on the way to a chemotherapy treatment.

It’s like night of the living dead, only instead of zombies eating your brains, there are government employees (usually the same thing as zombies) eating away at everyone’s bank accounts. In an age of de-industrialization in America, financially broken municipalities seem to be hiring more and more ‘enforcement’ officials to bring in supplementary revenue. It makes me wonder just what kind of value the people who take these jobs are offering to their community?

I have an idea…

Instead of asking folks ‘’what do you do for a living?’… why don’t we all start asking this: ‘what do you produce?’

Imagine if an IRS agent, or a county inspector was posed that question… what are they going to say?

Inspector Worthless McUsless: Producer of Fines

‘Oh me? Well, I produce inconveniences and economic hindrances’

or a TSA Agent?

TSA Agent: Producer of trauma, molestation experiences, and physical discomfort.

‘I keep the skies safe by supplying traumatic experiences to innocent travelers!’

Listen kids, there is no American dream… and our cameras caught you throwing that Soda can away at lunch time (you know carbonated beverages are prohibited at your public school!). Pick up than can citizen, and pay the fines. Your environmental terrorism is unacceptable.



Like it or not, politics is about marketing, not being “right”

Bottom line guys, if we want 100 Rand Pauls in the senate… NO “TRUTH” FAIRY COSTUMES. People have every right to be passionate about what they wish— but if they want to keep getting voices for liberty on the floors of congress… LEAVE THE INSIDE JOB SHIRTS AT HOME.

What’s more important, getting new people into the liberty movement, or yelling at those who don’t agree with something you believe? We can’t approach neoconservatives and liberals with a closed fist ready to punch them. And as libertarians, shouldn’t we be practicing a non-hostile approach to things anyway?

One does not have to sacrifice libertarian principles to make political maneuvers and as long as we intend to engage the system, we must understand how our broken electoral system operates. We can’t beat neocons at their game if we refuse to play it in the parameters in which they and liberals operate. The system will overpower a small movement that works outside of it… but a small movement that works inside of it, can create tidal waves.

Boehner Suddenly Rediscovers the Constitution

In an act of political convenience, PATRIOT Act advocate, and current House Majority leader John Boehner has swiftly, and without-warning remembered portions of the founding document which the country was founded on.

Boehner released a letter on Tuesday directed toward President Obama in regards to his undeclared ‘humanitarian’ war in Libya, containing the following statement:

“The Constitution requires the president to ‘take care that the laws be faithfully executed,’ and one of those laws is the War Powers Resolution, which requires an approving action by Congress or withdrawal within 90 days from the notification of a military operation,”

The War Powers Resolution, passed in 1973 in response to outrage at the Vietnam conflict, permits Presidents 60 days to withdraw forces after conflict deployment, allowing for a maximum of 90 days if the President can “certify” in writing, that a conflict is an “unavoidable military necessity.” By that measure, the President is already in violation of the law – given that he explicitly cited a humanitarian motive for our intervention, rather than a necessity of national security.

“Today I authorized the Armed Forces of the United States to begin a limited military action in Libya in support of an international effort to protect Libyan civilians That action has now begun.”

Yep, there you have it, straight from the bull’s ass, an international effort to provide protection to civilians in a war zone. That’s a humanitarian effort. Say what you will about humanitarian intervention, nation-building, or wars of ‘good will’… but they are not necessary for US security.

The trend of bypassing congress to play G.I. Joe really began when Truman bypassed congress to invade Korea; no war since World War 2, has been deemed an ‘actual’ war in an official congressional declaration.

Article II, Section 2 of the Constitution provides that “The president shall be Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States,” and it is under this broad statement that all of our ‘less-than-wars’ have been waged since then. It is also under this statement that the ‘living document’ crowd (Obama certainly fits in there) might seek to refute the constitutionality of the War Powers Resolution.

Until that time though, the law is the law, and it’s expected of President Obama to uphold it in accordance with his office.

It’s excellent that the pressure of grassroots politics, from Tea Parties and libertarians alike, has forced the legislative process to at LEAST give lip-service to the Constitution, it’s a start… but it’s hard to believe that this is anything more than that. House Republicans earlier this month helped kill Democrat Dennis Kucinich’s bill that would have ordered Obama’s withdrawal from Libya, almost immediately. The bill had extensive support from Republican house members.

Boehner stated afterward that the vote on Kucinich’s bill was blocked so that the house could assess US role in Libya, however Politico quoted the following from a GOP staffer:

“[Boehner] is concerned that if this were to come to the floor now, it would pass,” we can’t have that, now could we? A bipartisan bill that ends foreign adventurism? Doh!

If Boehner, or other establishment Republicans for that matter, actually practiced what they preached, they wouldn’t just cherry pick statements from the constitution when convenient, and ignore portions when they are in opposition to the establishment agenda. There’s little doubt, whether Obama has to get a resolution from Congress or not, that the war will continue, and it will continue without a formal declaration of war… added to our growing list of ‘less-than-war’ wars.

Ahh, but down is up and up is down in the District of Confusion/Criminals/Control/Caligula/Chaos/Columbia.

Boehner for those of you unaware, has called the 4th-ammendment-trashing PATRIOT Act, “a critical tool used by our intelligence, military, and law enforcement professionals” … while failing to acknowledge the unconstitutional nature of the bill.

So much for your reverence for the constitution Mr. Speaker.

Gary Johnson… The Senator from New Mexico?

Paging Senator Gary Johnson

Gary Johnson could become a major player in the liberty movement, and the broader landscape of the conservative movement... but only if he makes some radical changes.

Coming soon.


Witness the beginning of my acension to the White House Enemies list. 

I’m taking a big risk starting this site you see… I passed up a lucrative  manufacturing job behind a McDonalds service counter.

There were 30,000 openings last month, I passed up every single one of them (drats!)

But somebody has to say this stuff. 


Signing off,

Craig Holland Dixon

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