D.C. Metro: redefining crappy service

Most people are speaking figuratively when they talk about crappy government service. They’re probably referring to entities other than the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority; a government-run monopoly that ACTUALLY is covered in fecal matter.

Most days, the commute via train is actually a slower option than sitting in a DC traffic jam. Most days, using a gallon of gas in said traffic jam is cheaper than the train fare too. Most days, you’ll be crammed into a cattle car with someone’s arm pit crust just inches from your nostrils. At some point during most Metro train adventures, a morbidly obese woman will ever-so-gently press her soft, gelatin body into yours. I can’t forget to mention the ‘out of order’ escalators, and their half-year repair times.

Yes, all those things are crappy. But I’m speaking in literal terms. The DC Metro is covered in crap. At least, it was for 48 hours at the Franconia-Springfield station on the Blue Line.

On Monday, a commuter coming from the Franconia-Springfield Metro-station found just that, shit smeared across the walls of the pedestrian bridge leading into the station. Two days later? Still on display for all to admire.

Austin Lasseter, told the Washington Examiner that he spoke to the Metro station’s manager on Monday after encountering the wall-of-horror. The response from Metro management? ‘it’s not Metro’s problem’.

Maybe the government employees wanted to add some Aroma to the air, you know, for atmosphere. Or perhaps they truly are embracing their reputation for crap-quality service, going with a fecal wallpaper theme.

Toot! Toot! All aboard! Free smells!

Eventually, they did clean it up though. Government employees rapidly sprung into action at a snail’s pace of 2-days after first hearing about the crap on the walls. It only took the pressure of being confronted by the Washington Examiner about their inability to show the slightest bit of competence.

Turns out that because the the VRE (Virginia Railway Express) owned the stairs connecting the walkway, Metro felt it best to just ignore the problem.

Lasseter questioned why, if it was not Metro’s duty, they couldn’t contact the staff of the VRE about the problem. Both organizations said that “generally,” Metro station managers don’t reach out to VRE Janitoral teams, and both sides must go through a “chain of command.” I guess picking up a phone when there’s HUMAN SHIT on the wall is too arduous a task to be tackled so easily by Metro employees.

It’s good to know Washington D.C. is home to the same government agencies that oversee food cleanliness and sanitation.

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